How Not To Get Killed On The Los Angeles Pier
The Sleeper Awakens: A Journey Begins
In old mythology, stories and lore, it’s always the court jester, the clown, the Coyote/trickster that jolts us awake to the numbing patterns that we live. Not many people today are really willing to be happy about having Coyote as a mentor. If you read the stories, they mostly don’t end well. I know people who too quickly welcomed Coyote into their life and well….one of them ended up in jail.
So why are there so many stories of the trickster that have survived for 1000’s of years? Because we need that energy to help us see what we can’t see. To be able to ask better questions, and really deeply understand who we are.
The man who ended up in jail? He wanted the “gold ferrari” to drive before he had even learned how to ride a bike. He wanted “enlightenment” without doing any of the work. With help, he went back to the beginning and slowly started the journey of understanding who he was. The trickster still works with him, but he has a great life! (and hasn’t ended up in jail since).
I want to tell you a story that might sound familiar. It’s not a really fun story, the plot line sucks, and the protagonist is kind of boring, but most of us will resonate with it.
Sleepwalking Instead of Living
You're sleeping in bed and the alarm jolts you awake. Sigh…. Another dollar another day. Before any thought creeps in, muscle memory takes over - check email, scroll social media, gulp down coffee. The day hadn't even started, and already it feels exhausting.
At work, you act like a robot, barely registering the hours ticking by. On lunch break, you find yourself staring at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Who are you?" you whisper to the stranger staring back.
That night, as you lay in bed, mind racing with tomorrow's to-do list, a strange thought bubbled up: "Is this all there is?"
This story might sound familiar, and like I said above, it’s not very inspiring. In our hyper-connected world, it's all too easy to sleepwalk through life, disconnected from our true selves. We chase external validation, follow prescribed paths, and ignore the quiet voice of our inner wisdom.
When Coyote Sneaks Into Your Life
Be warned! If this is your day to day, Coyote is going to come visiting. One of my favorite movies of all time is Falling Down starring Michael Douglas and Robert Duvall because I’ve never seen a better illustration of how Coyote can totally turn your world upside down.
Douglas is a man trying to live the American dream. He has a wife, daughter, a job making missiles, but something is wrong. His world is falling apart: he is estranged from his wife and daughter, he has lost his job but he drives to “work” every day even though he goes nowhere.
On this day, his car breaks down and the whole construct that he has defined his life around comes apart. He smashes things, blows things up, kills people and ends up cornered by the police. The closing scene is him and Duvall (who plays a police officer) on a pier in Los Angeles.
Duvall has his gun out and is pointing it at Douglas. Duvall says that they are going to go with the oncoming police officers. This next part ripped me in two.
Douglas looks at Duvall and with a slight note of incredulity says, “I’m the bad guy? How’d that happen? I did everything they told me to….. They lied to me.”
Duval says, “That’s what this is about? You’re angry because you got lied to? They lie to everyone. They lie to the fish. But that doesn’t give you any special right to do what you did today. The only thing that makes you special is your daughter."
It’s apparent that Douglas has made the final break with his next words. “Sure was hot today wasn’t it?" He pulls out a kid's water pistol and Duval shoots him.
In the end the only choice he has left is death. He can’t see that his death needs not be literal. He couldn’t see that his decent need not have happened the way it did.
How To Die Without Dying
What if there was another way?
What if we can die without dying?
To “die without dying” is about undergoing profound inner transformation that can be looked at as a series of little deaths. It's about shedding our old identities, letting go of limiting beliefs, and awakening to a new way of being.
I know, this may sound like something you’ve heard a million times, but hows it working out so far? We have a mental health crisis, the world is falling apart.
Maybe we need a different way to approach breaking free from the patterns and conditioning that keep us trapped in unfulfilling lives. By metaphorically "dying," we create space for rebirth, allowing our authentic selves to emerge and flourish.
This journey of inner renewal isn't easy, but it's immensely rewarding. It requires courage, self-reflection, and a willingness to embrace change. As we let go of our old selves, we open up to new possibilities, deeper connections, and a more meaningful existence. The "death" of our former identity gives birth to a life lived with purpose, presence, and a profound sense of interconnectedness with all beings.
5 Practices to Die Without Dying
1. Embrace the Trickster: Learn to recognize and welcome the disruptive, transformative energy of the "Coyote" in your life. Instead of resisting change, view unexpected challenges as opportunities for growth and self-discovery.
2. Question your sleepwalking patterns: Regularly examine your daily routines and habits. Ask yourself, "Am I truly living, or just going through the motions?" Identify areas where you're operating on autopilot and consciously choose to break those patterns.
3. Confront your reflection: Like the protagonist who questions their identity in the mirror, take time for deep self-reflection. Ask yourself, "Who am I beyond societal expectations and prescribed roles?" Be willing to face uncomfortable truths about yourself.
4. Rewrite your story: Recognize that you have the power to change your narrative. Instead of feeling trapped like the character in "Falling Down," actively choose a new path that aligns with your authentic self and values.
5. Die to your old self gradually: Unlike the tragic ending in the movie example, choose a gradual, metaphorical "death" of your old identity. Let go of beliefs, behaviors, and attachments that no longer serve you, making space for personal growth and renewal.
By following these steps, you can begin the process of metaphorically "dying without dying," paving the way for a more authentic, purposeful, and spiritually fulfilling life.
In the interest of not ending up in jail, Meghan Maiya and I have created an online program designed to get you through this transformation without dying or having to sleep next to a furry wild canine. We call it Living a Thriving Life!
If you are ready to embark on a transformative journey towards living a truly Thriving Life? Join our online program Thrive! - A Modern Path of Ritual and Ceremony.
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"Your new life is going to cost you your old life"
That phrase has been playing in my head on repeat as I witness and allow and feel the death of so many large parts of my life currently.
This writing you've shared is so spot on and helpful to hear right now! Especially because I can remember living that numb life almost exactly as you described, and I can see how far I've come... and if I can go from there to here, I can hold on through this to get to the beauty and meaningful space I'm moving towards.